Just three days, Kurt thought with a little smile as he looked at the timetable on his computer screen. His first class was going to start in two days, and Kurt couldn't be more excited. He was going to love it. He was the first one to admit that living in New York and going to college was much more difficult than he had ever thought it would be. After all, of course he had known he would have to clean up, do grocery shopping and all those stuff all on his own now, but it just seemed so much work. He had done shopping, cleaning and cooking when he still lived at home. He had loved to help Carole cooking two or three times a week. Living on your own, though, meant doing that 7 times. Every single day, even when you were extremely tired from another day of job hunting. Because honestly, Kurt really needed one. Bu he couldn't seem to find one that fit him. He was going to be a very well known fashion designer. He couldn't go work at something like Starbucks or McDonalds. Those jobs were great, but not for him. He really didn't want to. At least he had some money saved from the days when he helped out his dad in the garage and his college fund had already paid for his tuition, but he still needed to be able to buy food and clothes every month.
He almost knocked over his laptop when Jeff bust into the room, a big smile on his face as he closed it and entered.
"Hey Kurt," He said cheerfully as he walked towards his tiny closet, sticking his head into it comically to look for an outfit.
"Hey Jeff," said Kurt as he concentrated on his laptop screen again. He'd been waiting for Mercedes to come online on Skype. Mercedes had always been his best friend at High School and even though her original plans had been going to New York just like Rachel and him, she had stayed in Lima after all. He heard Jeff close his closet and saw him marching into their bathroom in his boxer briefs. Kurt would always be amazed by the amount of comfortableness Jeff had around him. A little ding informed Kurt someone had come online, and when he looked he saw an incoming call from Mercedes. Kurt clicked accept and the grinning face of his friend came into view.
"Kurt!" she exclaimed happily at him. Kurt grinned back and waved.
"Hey!" he said. She grinned back at him. She was in her well known bed room. The amount of times he had stayed over for one of their parties was countless.
"It's so nice to talk to you again Kurt!" Mercedes exclaimed and she grinned. Kurt laughed and in the next ten minutes, they were having conversations about Mercedes just having started her first class, the pain it was for Kurt to live on his own and they were just talking about their friends from glee club, when Jeff emerged from the bathroom in pajama pants. Kurt turned his head towards his roommate and waved, at what Mercedes greedily asked who it was.
"It's my roommate," Kurt said, turning back to Jeff and waving him towards the screen with his hand. Jeff beamed, dropped his clothing on the floor next to his bed and skipped over. Kurt could see his messy haired head appearing into the little screen.
"Heya there," Jeff said with one of his signature smiled and he waved. Mercedes giggled as Jeff pushed Kurt aside with his hips so he could join him on the bed.
"Hello," Mercedes said politely, waving.
"Mercedes, this is Jeff, my crazy roommate. Jeff, this is Mercedes, one of my friends from High school," Kurt said, gesturing from the screen to Jeff and back.
"Nice to meet you," Jeff said enthusiastically.
"You too," Mercedes said in a high voice. "Does he always walk around half naked?" she added with a laugh.
"Pretty much in the evening, yes," Kurt said with a little shrug, pulling a face. Jeff started laughing.
"At least my boyfriend appreciates it then, right?" He said with a slight pout.
"You have a boyfriend?" Mercedes immediately asked eagerly, her eyebrows rose in surprise. Kurt interrupted Jeff before he could say something.
"He sure does. He lives in our building only a few floors down. He's always there, best roommate ever, could've lived by myself and I wouldn't have noticed the difference," he said with a laugh. Jeff nudged his shoulder.
"Wait until Kurt here gets a boyfriend, I would want to hear him talking then," He said with a laugh. Again, Mercedes seemed to be surprised for Jeff to already know. It was Kurt's time to nudge Jeff's shoulder and his roommate laughed.
"I'll leave you to it now, time to text with my boyfriend. I haven't spoken to him in a whole hour." He jumped up from the bed and walked to his side of the room, shoving the clothes he had dropped on the floor towards his laundry basket with his foot and falling on the bed. Kurt rolled his eyes and then looked at Mercedes again. She had a big smile on her face.
"Talking about boyfriends, Kurt, any potential ones there in the big city?" Mercedes immediately fired at him. Kurt felt himself go a deep red and he could hear the tiny little pause in the constant strike of keys on Jeff's phone and Kurt hadn't been so glad for the bad quality of his webcam ever before.
"Well I haven't really been to school a lot yet but I did meet a really nice guy," Kurt said, trying to ignore the memories attempting to slip back into his head like elastic.
"Ohhhh tell me all about him, Kurt!" Mercedes exclaimed excitedly.
"There's nothing to tell. His name is Jayden and he does the same major as me. Nothing else," Kurt said. He hated lying to Mercedes but she lived in Lima, the same city as his dad and of course he trusted her but his dad did not need to know about Blaine and that night.
"Is he gay?" she asked with one of those huge grins.
"I don't know," Kurt said honestly, and then quickly rushed over the dangerous topic.
"Enough about potential boyfriends now, what about real ones? What about yours?" Kurt said, pulling a smile up on his face again. Mercedes face lit up and she started into what Kurt thankfully knew to be a big and long gush about Sam, and he didn't mind at all, he welcomed it gratefully for the rest of his night to be spend.
Blaine opened the door with a groan, dumped his bag on the floor next to the door and let himself sink down on the couch. He groaned again, pinching the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He was drunk. He couldn't even walk straight. Why was he alone? He was never alone when he was this drunk. Last night he hadn't even been half as drunk as he was now and he had taken someone back then. He had taken Kurt. Blaine buried his face into the pillows of the couch, trying not to think about the reason why he hadn't taken the boy who had gladly showed his willingness of coming with him tonight. The boy had literally showed up in front of him, giving Blaine another drink, slurring drunkenly over the words as he introduced himself as Jared. Jared had been 25 years and looking for something exactly like Blaine, he had said. Blaine had willingly taken the drink and talked with Jared. They had even ended up on the dance floor. Jared has asked him to go to his place. Blaine could only remember laughing about it, saying that no, he wasn't interested. He could vaguely remember thinking the guy smelled weird but he couldn't really remember why because the memory of the smell wasn't weird at all. It was just a bad smell. Blaine sighed. He perfectly well knew what the problem was but he couldn't possible give in to that. He gripped the pillow underneath him and squeezed it in his frustration. Because saying he wasn't horny was completely lying and Blaine knew that very well. Why had he denied a chance for a particularly hot guy fixing his hardness? Why had he refused it, making him have to fix it himself while that guy could've done it way more satisfying. Why was the answer obvious but wrong? He couldn't afford the reason to be the actual reason yet he knew perfectly well that that was exactly the reason why. He groaned harder, squeezing his eyes shut. He should take a shower. He should just- take a shower, forget about it. Fix it himself and go to sleep after. After his job hunt tomorrow he would go to the bar again and take someone with him. So that was exactly what he was going to do. He stood up from the couch and slumped into his bathroom, shrugging off his clothing in the process. He turned the water on without looking and hissed at the coldness of it, turning it a little warmer and stepping under it completely. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to relax a little until his aching hardness started to hurt too much to ignore it anymore. He softly let his hand squeeze his length, groaned at the pleasure he caused himself and squeezed harder, a loud groan leaving his mouth but he didn't even notice. The water was still streaming all over his body, which made for an excellent replacement of lube right now and he stroke the vein on his cock, groaning even harder as he started pumping himself. Images of the night before started flashing through his head as he pleasured himself, two big blue eyes piercing through his mind making him emit a soft yelp. He could already imagine the boy's white hand was on his dick rather than his own and that made him even more turned on than the alcohol had already made him. His body was quickly reacting to what he was doing, shuddering as he was stroking his erection. His knees started to give in so he let himself slide down to the floor of the shower, his back arching and his head touching the white tiles as he tilted it back. He was going to come way too fast with those memories but right now he didn't care because fuck the memory of those blue eyes made him shudder all over again, biting his lower lip until he had to stop before he would draw blood. He bucked into his own fist, twice, three times and groaned even louder. He remembered the tightness of Kurt's ass, and bucked into his fist again, squeezing even harder. His hand slide over his dick two more times, every touch making the muscles of his body clench, making every nerve in his body tingle, scream. He came, yelling, his voice high. Oh god he was coming so hard. After riding out his high he sighed and fell with his face pressed against the cool tiles, breathing heavily. He'd never come so hard. Well, except for two nights ago with the blue eyed Angel Kurt. Fuck, no Blaine, he told himself. He wasn't allowed to think that. Once with the same guy was enough, especially after that kind of one time. He couldn't afford preferring someone over anyone else. He couldn't take one person in his life for a longer period of time, not even to have sex with the most beautiful person he'd ever seen for one more time. It wasn't going to happen. Blaine groaned loudly into his pillow. Sex was the thing that had started all the pain, now sex was his place to hide. To not feel those fucking emotions because he could lock them away while screwing someone. He could not afford wanting to have someone twice because that obviously involved some kind of emotion, even it was only craving for that one person.
Blaine was up earlier than he normally would be. The problem was that he couldn't sleep. After his rather interesting moment in the shower and falling asleep dripping wet only to wake up in a bed with sheets unbelievingly gross from his wet body, he had given up trying to go back to sleep around 8am. He had tossed his sheets in the bathroom and let himself fall down on the couch. He knew he needed something to get his mind clear of the alcohol and the boy that made him more drunk than any booze could ever and he absolutely hated it. He jumped up and rummaged through his drawer where his piercings lay and changed his tongue piercing along and added two to his ear to his already very noticeable collection of his lip and eyebrow piercings on his face. He then shrugged on some jeans, a simple black shirt he had laying around and the same leather jacket.
He grabbed his guitar case off the dining table and bolted out of his house. He needed a distraction. He knew college was about to start and he knew he should be more excited. He wasn't though. He had seen those guys yesterday in the pub. They had left him alone, thank god, but he knew it wasn't going to last long until they found a reason for trouble again. Blaine knew they were starting to become a problem and he should really do something about them but he couldn't. This was so far out of his league, so much more dangerous than he'd originally thought. But he wasn't going to budge. He could handle it, he could handle it all.
After taking way too long because the city was once again loaded with people, Blaine arrived at Central Park. He loved the nature and even though this was far from what he'd experienced as actual nature, it was close enough. You could still smell the city, taste it on your tongue. But without anything better available, he liked to come here sometimes. It'd been ages, though. Last year, when he had had no obligations at all, but getting drunk every night, he sometimes came here to play. He rarely played his guitar and he never sang anymore because sometimes it was just way too scary how much music actually meant to him. But right now, playing to forget unnecessary emotions, it couldn't hurt.
So he jumped onto the first available bench there was and opened the guitar case. The first few minutes were spend tuning of his guitar and he then began to strum random tunes. He had no idea what he was playing and he couldn't care less. He just knew that while Central Park was usually packed, he would not meet the guy he didn't want to meet and that was a big relief. He closed his eyes for a second while playing and when he opened them again, he saw a little kid looking up at him with big eyes and a grin. His mom and dad joined him while he was playing, their hands slightly touching on their sons shoulder both identical grins to their sons. A perfect happy family.
"You play beautifully," the woman said and they looked at their son clapping and going all hysterical to the music and they didn't even say he should stop because they weren't ashamed of his craziness, they were happy he was enjoying the music. It reminded him so not of his own youth that it brought back the stinging memories.
With a false cling, Blaine stopped playing and looked first at the boy and then at the woman, frowning and pressing his lips in a hard line.
"Tame the kid, it's annoying me," he said with a harsh voice. The womans eyebrows shot up and the little kid stopped abruptly.
"There's no need to be rude young man, my wife was just being nice," the man said. Blaine arched an eyebrow.
"There's no need to annoy me to death with your stupid son. Also, there's no need to decide what I do. Can you go now, you're blocking my sun and I like to get a colour so I am more attractive to other young man to-" But I stopped because the man had hastily scooped his son up and walked away with a glare. Blaine focoused on his music again, sometimes gazing over the people when he saw it. A thin boy with an extremely white skin and chestnut coloured hair was straigtening up from a blanket where he had been shielding under a tree for the sun. He had an amazingly attractive body; his legs were long and pushed into amazing skin tight jeans. The boy was standing with his back to Blaine, cleaning his pants from some dirt with his long fingers and then softly cleaning his perfectly shaped ass. He recognized it immediately because his cock had never felt more amazing in any other ass and his music halted as he took a deep breath. He could feel himself harden while thinking about what he could do to that ass, about what those long, long white fingers could do to his and about how it would feel to have those amazing hot, long legs wrapped around his hips while his cock was in his perfect shaped ass.
He turned around to look somewhere on his right and Blaine could see the profile of his face. Kurt grinned a happy grin as he hugged a slightly smaller girl and he started talking, sitting with his profile still towards Blaine. He hadn't seen Blaine; he was too busy talking to the small girl. She was casually holding his hand while she was explaining something with the other and even though Blaine knew better, his thoughts immediately jumped to a terrifying thought. What if Kurt was straight?! What if their night was a quick fuck for Kurt? After all, Blaine had fucked straight guys before. But with the appearance of his straining hard on, another thing had also appeared. The knowledge that Blaine needed that boys body around his, against his, one more time. He wanted to do everything he could think of to that boy and more on his suggestion, preferably all in one night. Blaine knew he shouldn't want it but one more night couldn't hurt. The boy was just too hot. And he had his chance now. Blaine smiled. He would get Kurt to want him again. Because that was something important. Kurt had to want him again first. He would get it done.
Kurt was happy to be out of the house today. Just two more days until class started and Kurt was getting a little nervous. Luckily he had a meeting with Rachel and even though it could get a little irritating sometimes, Rachel's ability to always talk about herself could come in handy when Kurt had two things he didn't want to think about. The first being his courses, because he would totally freak out if he would think about that too much. The second was, of course, that night. No, Kurt shouldn't be thinking about that. Jeff and he talked about it some more and even though yes it had been a mistake, a terrible mistake in Kurt's mind, Kurt shouldn't be mad at himself. Those things happened. Luckily Kurt was nineteen and luckily he had lost his virginity two years ago to his boyfriend at the time, so Kurt didn't have to feel too guilty. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the why. Why had he done it? It was so unlike him. The worst thing was that he couldn't remember a whole lot of what went down before they arrived at Blaine's house. Vaguely he remembered meeting Blaine, accepting three beers, but nothing much after that. But he hadn't been that drunk, right? Why had he done it? Yes, Blaine had been hot. But not hot enough to just- drop everything and jump him. There had been something. There must have happened something. He couldn't remember it, which frustrated him to no end. But he knew he was going to have to drop it. This had been a one time mistake. Blaine didn't exist in his daily life. He would probably never see him again, even. He was going to go to the same bar with Nick and Jeff tonight, only the two of them. Just so he could push back all bad memories and make new, good ones with his friends. He should not let one night ruin his time in New York. He hadn't even started college.
"Kurt!" he heard a high pitched girl's voice shout. Kurt pulled himself out of his thoughts and looked around. Rachel Berry's voice traveled towards him over heads of people in Central Park. He quickly stood up to hug her as she approached him.
"Hey Rachel!" He said with a huge grin and she happily hugged him before sitting on the blanket Kurt had put on the grass to keep green stains out of his designer jeans. Rachel took off her coat, it was still September and pretty warm, and then turned to Kurt.
"You looked quite deep in thought there," she said strangely observant. Kurt shrugged.
"Nervous for courses to start," Kurt said truthfully. Well half-truthfully, but that was enough.
"Oh I know exactly what you mean!" Rachel exclaimed, and she immediately started off into a story about how she met people from her class but they seemed so good and she had no idea if she was going to fit in because maybe they would hate her for her talent.
"I mean- one has to be the best, right? But people mostly just hate the person who's the best and I really hope to make some friends, actually!" she said in a high, worried voice. Kurt snorted. Leave it to Rachel to be afraid to be the best one.
"I'm sure you'll be fine, Rachel," Kurt said carefully. "To get into NYADA, you have to be really good. I'm sure everyone has a lot of talent." Was he really saying this right now? Rachel bit her lip and then shrugged.
"We'll see," she said. That had been way easier than Kurt had expected.
"So did you make any friends already then?" Rachel asked. Kurt nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes, well, my roommate is great! He's named Jeff and he doesn't shut up about his boyfriend at all. He's mostly there but we're going to go out tonight with the three of us. I met Nick, too. He's nice as far as I can tell," Kurt said.
"Oh! It is great you have a gay roommate Kurt! My dads will be pleased to hear that. They worry about you sometimes!" Rachel exclaimed. "But with a gay roommate it will all be easier for you I am sure! I met really nice people too!" and the diva was on her way, talking about girls she met in her building or around school and Kurt snorted softly, but listened anyway.
They decided to go for coffee later in the afternoon. It was getting a little cold and Kurt was tired because he hadn't slept that well due to certain dreams he tried to ban because really, having dreams about the sex he had had with the guy he met in the pub was really embarrassing when you had a roommate. They were currently standing in line and Rachel was babbling away about going to see a musical with the new girls she met at school. Kurt just nodded some times. He had to find a way to get less distracted. To get stupid Blaine and his amazingly hot body out of his head on a normal day. Kurt knew that with time, it would probably go away but why then, could he not get that look, Blaine had had while looking into Kurt's eyes out of his head. Yet again, Rachel was babbling about NYADA.
"It's so sad you didn't come to NYADA though, Kurt. You would've fit right in!" Rachel exclaimed as we shuffled in line, placing both our orders to the lady with a smile.
"Yes, well, I think I'll fit right in at my own school just as much. I loved it with the introduction," Kurt said absentmindly while paying for his coffee. Rachel nodded.
"Well of course, I just thought it would have been fun to be in NYADA together," she exclaimed. Kurt sighed. He knew what Rachel thought. He knew his dream had once been to do performing arts in college and become a Broadway star but something had shattered that dream and he'd rather not think about it. He loved singing, and he still did and he had seen his dream be shattered with regret but there was nothing he could or wanted to do about that. He had made his decision. He decided not to comment on the last thing Rachel said and walked to a table somewhere in the middle of the coffee shop.
"Did you do something fun in the last days except school, Rachel?" Kurt asked then? to change the subject. Rachel shrugged.
"I have been busy with unpacking and getting to know the neighbourhood so apart from going to the Wicked theatre to stare, not really," She said, sipping from her coffee. Kurt smiled. That was so Rachel but he had to admit that he had done it too. Of course he had. It was Wicked.
"What about you, Kurt?" Rachel asked then and Kurt could feel himself go red all over again.
"Well, I went to a bar with my roommate and his boyfriend," he said very carefully, going even redder. He could hardly tell Rachel about Blaine.
"Oh what did you do?" Rachel asked eagerly, as if all out of the sudden she was actually interested in talking about someone else than herself.
"Well we danced and talked mainly, nothing special," he mumbled.
"You're blushing, what is the hidden secret?" she said with a smile in her voice.
"Nothing, there is no secret, Rachel," Kurt said in his best annoyed voice.
"Yes there is," she said in a sing-song voice.
"Leave it Rachel, I said there is none," Kurt snapped angrier than he had intended. Great, now Rachel would do anything but leave it to that.
"Kurt. There's something you're not telling me and it's important. Tell me, Kurt, I'm your friend," Rachel said in a soft voice, shocked by his behavior no doubt.
Kurt sighed. He wasn't going to tell her. He wouldn't tell her, he couldn't. Finn was her boyfriend and if Kurt told her, his stepbrother would know instantly. Through Finn, it would land at his dad automatically and Kurt did not need his father to know any of it. Kurt started blushing by just thinking about two nights ago. He had to think about something else because he really didn't want Rachel noticing his embarrassment again, but when he looked at her she was looking at something behind his head with great interest. Kurt didn't mind her short distraction to try to think of something to make up.
"Kurt don't look but there's a really hot guy looking- well, staring at you," she whispered with a grin. Kurt looked at her with raised eyebrows and turned around to take a look, but Rachel caught his hand to stop him.
"Don't! He'll notice that you know!" she giggled. Kurt shrugged.
"Why shouldn't he know? He's staring at me and you just said he's hot, I really want to know!" Kurt said. He could hardly believe Rachel. No one had ever noticed him back in Ohio. Never just like that, when it was just about his looks. He felt flattered but somehow he didn't believe Rachel. How could it be true? Two guys in such a short time? Too curious to wait, he turned around anyway and stared right into the face of- Blaine. His cheeks immediately began to warm and he quickly turned around back to Rachel. No, no, this could not be happening! What was Blaine doing here? He didn't want Blaine here. He had planned on not seeing Blaine again, ever. He had thought New York to be big enough not to walk into him on accident. What was the guy he had sex with when he was drunk doing here, he really shouldn't be here. This was real life and Kurt had put that night into a sort of other world, not part of his own life. He really couldn't afford to think about that night again right now. Not with Rachel present. But that was a mistake because now he already was.
"Oh he's coming!" Rachel squeaked and god that was absolutely the wrong choice of words right now. Shit, Blaine was coming their way and Kurt couldn't help but think about his only memory with this guy. Blaine probably wasn't the most tactful person and Kurt really hoped he wasn't going to tell Rachel about it. Blaine arrived at their table with an unmistakable grin on his face.
"Well hello Kurt," He said with a low voice. He had placed his hand on Kurt shoulder as if they were old friends. Kurt felt a shudder go down his spine as Blaine's fingers lightly pressed down on the sore spot Kurt had on his neck, a bite mark Blaine made himself two nights ago. Kurt's breath hitched in his throat and Blaine pressed down a little more. The bastard knew perfectly well what he was doing and was now just annoying Kurt with it. Kurt tried to hide how the memories started to flash through his head. Certainly his blood wasn't flowing to his cheeks anymore right now.
"Wait, you know each other?" Rachel's voice asked from somewhere far away and Kurt tried to pull his thoughts away from Blaine's hands, but why was that so damn difficult. They felt like huge weights on his shoulder, still pressing against the painful spot on his neck.
"No," Kurt said, cringing at the highness of his voice.
"Oh but Kurt, don't you remember our night?" Blaine asked in a velvet voice. Kurt groaned.
"What night?" Rachel asked with a smile, not taking in how uncomfortable Kurt felt.
"Kurt and I met at a bar two nights ago," Blaine said with a smirk. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Blaine, I have no interest in talking to you. Leave me alone," Kurt spat at Blaine. Blaine didn't seem to be impressed with his anger at all.
"Oh but Kurt, you seemed to really like our meeting, didn't you?" he asked in the same tone of voice and Kurt wanted to do nothing more than push him away and run out of the shop before something went wrong, but he was frozen to his chair.
"I think you're wrong," Kurt mumbled through his teeth.
"I don't think I am, I could easily see how- excited you were, Kurt," he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Kurt gritted his teeth together, but Rachel didn't seem to pick up on the innuendo.
"I think you can remember how excited I was, too, Kurt," Blaine said in a seductive voice and Kurt groaned at the images flashing though his mind. Why was that boy able to do this to him?
"But Kurt, you forgot to give me your number," Blaine said, taking "Kurt's phone out of his hand without a second thought and Kurt cursed at the fact that he had just been looking at it because that meant Blaine could actually do something on it now, too. Kurt tried to discretely rearrange himself in his pants but he knew Blaine would be able to see his hard-on from where he was standing and his suspicions were comfirmed when he saw the boy glance down at Kurt's lap and immediately smirk. He looked Kurt straight in the eye.
"Well Hummel, call me when you need a good fuck in your ass again," he said, throwing Kurt's phone back on the table and he shifted a little awkwardly because of his own hard on. This made Kurt's cock twitch and fuck this was so not the right place and time and why was he turned on by that idiot anyway. He then heard Rachel gasp.
"Again Kurt? Don't tell me-" she didn't even have to finish her sentence as Kurt groaned.
"Kurt you had sex with that ass?" She asked. Kurt groaned at her remarkable choice of words again.
"Oh no, I definitely had sex with his ass," Blaine said with a smirk before turning around and walking away.
"I was drunk okay? My drink was spiked, I know, I know, I learned from it and I'm more careful next time so please can we stop talking about this now?" He spat at Rachel. Rachel blinked.
"No need to be mean, Kurt. I'm very sorry you made that mistake but just so you know if you went to NYADA and stayed with me, it never would have happened."
"That doesn't make sense at all, Rachel," Kurt mumbled, jumping up putting his phone in his pocket and picking up his coffee.
"I think I'm going to head home. Thank you Rachel, have a nice day and don't tell anyone about Blaine. Bye" and he turned around, not listening to Rachel's protests at all and quickly disappearing.
He was lying on his bed when his phone rang and he sat up, confused. He took his phone and stared at the name on the screen. Dad. He took a deep breath. No need to panic, he told himself. His dad was just calling to ask him how his past couple of days went. He took another breath and answered it.
"Hi dad," he said trying to sound cheerful.
"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel," his father's voice said angrily. Kurt sighed. Fuck.
"Dad is there something wrong?" he asked with a small voice.
"I think you know exactly what's wrong, Kurt," his father said. Kurt couldn't help but notice how angry his dad sounded.
"I- no, dad, I don't know-," but it was of no use.
"Finn just told me a very interesting story about something Rachel told him, Kurt. Something about a boy named Blaine," his dad said in a stern voice.
"I- dad I'm sorry-," Kurt said, tears building in his eyes.
"You don't have to be sorry, Kurt, but I think it does confirm it. I'm so disappointed in you. I trusted you. Don't you remember what I said?" his dad asked. He really did sound more disappointed now and silently tears began to fall.
"I- you told me not to throw myself around like I don't matter," Kurt mumbled softly through the phone, his voice as small as it could be, tears clouding his vision.
"Don't you count this as throwing yourself around like you don't matter, Kurt?" his dad asked.
"Yes," Kurt whispered.
"Kurt, I'm not mad. But I trusted you when you moved to New York on your own. I don't know if you deserve that trust right now. I know you're young and things like that happen but Kurt- you're just nineteen. I don't want you to be hurt like this. You matter, don't act like you don't."
"I know that. It's not going to happen again. I was drunk. I- it- my drink was spiked. It won't happen again. I can do it, dad, I can take care of myself." His dad was silent for a minute.
"Kurt, I want to trust you. I really do. I hope you can prove to me that you can be on yourself. I know I wasn't supposed to know about this and Carole told me I shouldn't call but Kurt, you're worth so much more than this okay?"
"Yes, I know dad. I promise it's not going to be happening again, I promise, really," Kurt whispered. He heard his dad sigh.
"Ok, Kurt. I believe you." They talked for a little while longer, Kurt wiping the tears on his cheeks away as he hung up and saw Jeff looking at him.
"Are you okay Kurt?" Jeff asked. Kurt groaned and let his face hit the pillow.
"I don't know Jeff. I feel so bad about what happened with Blaine and it keeps returning! I thought I was done with it but then Blaine shows up in a coffee shop and tells my friend what happened and she told my brother and he told my father and my father was just so disappointed I just-," he sighed. He felt Jeff's hand on his back softly.
"It's okay Kurt," he said. Kurt looked at him; tears clear in his eyes again.
"But it isn't! I have gotten into troubles even before school has started and it is something I would have never done a year ago. I don't know what happened. Even if I was drunk, I shouldn't have done it and I don't know why but every time I think about it, I just-," he didn't finish his sentence because that was way too embarrassing, but he knew Jeff got it.
"Maybe you just feel attracted to him?" Jeff offered. Kurt groaned.
"Why would I be? He is so- I have never met anyone who was as unkind and annoying as him!"
"You can hardly choose who you find and don't find attractive Kurt. It was a mistake. Even if you're attracted to him, you don't have to do anything about it anymore than you already did. You deserve someone much better, Kurt. You're an amazing person." He squeezed his shoulder.
"The worst thing is that there's something about him that makes him interesting. Something he's hiding and I'm constantly thinking about him and what he's hiding and I don't want to, but it just happens," Kurt said in a miserable voice.
"Maybe it's a good thing we're going to that bar tonight, Kurt. Put your mind to something else. Only Nick is joining. We can have a good time. You can forget about it, have some good experiences. Maybe you'll forget him then." Kurt nodded at that and groaned again and fell onto his stomach, his face into his pillow.
"I just- want it to never have happened," he mumbled in his pillow. He felt Jeff pat his back and then walk away. Kurt sighed. He was going to have fun tonight and not think about Blaine and then maybe he could start his courses a little happier than he was right now.
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Chapter 2 Sorry for the delay